It's been awhile since I've posted a weight loss update and figured that since I spent today driving to Toronto and back to see my lap-band surgeon and dietician (and wasn't able to get up a regular beauty post), now would be the perfect time.
To say I have been frustrated with the lack of progress when it comes to my weight loss would be an understatement. After kicking it into ultra-high gear after the holidays, I have yet to lose any weight and instead, have found myself gaining a pound or two. Although I have been 'clean eating' (no white sugar, white flower, processed food) since the middle of September, this past month I decided to be extra strict cutting out any sort of clean baked good (even those healthy protein muffins I loved), frozen yogurt, etc., and instead have been sticking to small portions (I am only supposed to have a cup of food per meal) of healthy, quality food. Not working!
So, after trying on my own for a while I thought it would be a good idea to see the surgeon who preformed my weight loss surgery and the dietician who works for the company. Having kept a record of everything I'd eaten for the past week including the time I ate it, what I was doing while I ate it, etc, I had hoped the dietician would have a look at it and give me some suggestions for improvement. While I did find some of her ideas helpful (I need to be eating more protein and make sure to combine a protein and a fibre at every meal), I was somewhat hurt by some of her assumptions about my eating habits. After asking me why I had snacked on an apple and peanut butter one afternoon between lunch and dinner, I told her that I had been hungry. Her reply? "No you weren't hungry, you were just doing it to comfort yourself'. When I insisted I actually had been hungry, she once again told me it wasn't the truth, there was no way I could be hungry.
Then it was time to meet with the surgeon. Before having my surgery, my mom and I had asked my surgeon if there could be any underlying medical issues that would be causing me to have issues losing weight (trust me I had tried for years on my own before having surgery). He insisted that there was no medical issues that could cause my problems with weight and said that it was simple math, calories in, calories out. Since I have been doing really well with my eating, we asked again today and got the same answer. He questioned whether or not I was drinking things like 3 high calorie Iced Cappucinos a day and not counting them as real calories (I found this very insulting and felt somewhat stereotyped), and when I stated that I was only drinking water and eating somewhere between 1000 and 1200 calories a day, he told me to cut it back to 800 calories a day. That's when I decided I was on my own.
As much as I really really want to lose this weight, eating only 800 calories a day, is for me, not healthy and not something I am willing to do to my body (my stomach size was not shrunk by the surgery, I just have a band to help control my hunger). I want to lose my weight the right way, eating the right sized portions of the right kind of healthy food. I don't want to deprive or starve myself. That is not the answer.
So, as much as I feel like giving up some days, I am determined more than ever to stick to the healthy way I've been eating (making the few adjustments the dietician recommended), continue doing some exercise (I've been going to aquafit), and prove, not only to myself, but to this surgeon that I can lose the weight the healthy way and that, despite my size, I do know how to make good eating choices. It's going to take a lot of effort and hard work but I have no doubt that eventually I will reach my goal!
As always I so appreciate all of your support. Knowing I have people cheering me on pushes me to better myself and work that much harder. Thank you!
"The ones who say you can't and you won't are probably the ones scared that you will."